Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence is defined as any abuse between two people who are or were in an intimate relationship.
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Emergency Shelter

Our Emergency Shelter serves as a lifeline and safe haven for individuals and families who are fleeing from domestic violence.  

Our confidential safehouse offers safety, comprehensive advocacy and support services to up to 18 individuals and families.  The program emphasizes independent living skills and individual counseling, support groups and vocational/educational referrals to reverse the isolation caused by domestic violence.  We utilize family-based interventions, working with women, men and their children together to strengthen families in crisis and break the intergenerational cycle of violence.  Every family living at our emergency shelter is provided with basic necessities such as food, clothing, household supplies and toiletries. In addition to advocacy, support and basic needs, clients are offered regular self-care and life-skills programming.  

If you need emergency shelter please call us at (530) 257-4599 or drop in to office at 1306 Riverside Drive, Susanville, California.

Information About Domestic Violence

Warning Signs
Extreme jealousy
Relationship moving or progressing quickly
Isolation from friends and family
Put downs, criticism, and intentional embarrassment, especially in the presence of others
Being told what to do or how to dress
Sexual pressure
Calling or texting non-stop
ANY form of physical harm
Many relationship groups use the Power and Control Wheel. Battered individuals can point to each of the tactics on the wheel and clearly explain how these behaviors were used against them. They are able to see that they are not alone in their experience and more fully understand how their batterer could exert such control over them.
Do you understand the cycle of violence?  These facts will help you recognize patterns that keep the cycle repeating itself, over and over.

Types of Abuse


Here are examples of the different forms of abuse:

·         PHYSICAL ABUSE: Grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hitting, hair pulling, biting, etc.; denying medical care or forcing alcohol and/or drug use.

·         SEXUAL ABUSE: Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact without consent, e.g., marital rape, forcing sex after physical beating, attacks on sexual parts of the body or treating another in a sexually demeaning manner; forcing the victim to perform sexual acts on another person, on the Internet, or pose for sexually explicit photographs against her will.

·         ECONOMIC ABUSE: Making or attempting to make a person financially dependent, e.g., maintaining total control over financial resources, withholding access to money, forbidding attendance at school or employment.

·         EMOTIONAL ABUSE: Undermining a person's sense of self-worth, e.g., constant criticism, belittling one's abilities, name calling, damaging a partner's relationship with the children.  An abuser may also use his or your HIV-positive status or sexual orientation as a means to control you.  For example, an abuser may threaten to reveal your HIV status or your sexual identity.  For more information, go to HIV/AIDS-related abuse or Same-Sex Abuse.

·         PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE: Causing fear by intimidation, threatening physical harm to self, partner or children, destruction of pets and property, mind games or forcing isolation from friends, family, school and/or work.  

·         SEXUAL COERCION AND REPRODUCTIVE CONTROL:  When a partner sabotages your birth control efforts by demanding unprotected sex, lying about "pulling out," hiding or destroying birth control (i.e., flushing pills down the toilet or poking a hole in a condom), preventing you from getting an abortion or forcing you to get an abortion.

Internet Safety


HOW AN ABUSER CAN DISCOVER YOUR INTERNET ACTIVITIES
*Note: This information may not completely hide your tracks. Many browser types have features that display recently visited sites. 
The safest way to find information on the internet would be at a local library, a friend's house, or at work.


E-mail: If an abuser has access to your email account, he or she may be able to read your incoming and outgoing mail. If you believe your account is secure, make sure you choose a password he or she will not be able to guess. 

If an abuser sends you threatening or harassing email messages, they may be printed and saved as evidence of this abuse. Additionally, the messages may constitute a federal offense. For more information on this issue, contact your local United States Attorney's Office.

History / cache file: If an abuser knows how to read your computer's history or cache file (automatically saved web pages and graphics), he or she may be able to see information you have viewed recently on the internet.

 You can clear your history or empty your cache file in your browser's settings.

 Netscape: Pull down Edit menu, select Preferences. Click on Navigator on choose 'Clear History'. Click on Advanced then select Cache. Click on "Clear Disk Cache".

 On older versions of Netscape: Pull down Options menu. Select Network Options, Select Cache. Click on "Clear Disk Cache".

 FireFox: version 3... From the Tools menu, select Options... On the top, select "Privacy". In the displayed window in the Private Data box, click the Settings button, check all boxes, then OK, then click "Clear Now"

 Internet Explorer: version 7... From the Tools menu, select Internet Options. On General page, under Browsing history, click on the "Delete.." button.

AOL: Pull down Members menu, select Preferences. Click on www icon. Then select Advanced. Purge Cache.

 Google Chrome: Go to the little wrench on the upper-right and click on New Incognito Window.  This allows anyone to surf the Internet without leaving any trace.  Be sure to close any Google Chrome windows before leaving the computer.


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Volunteer with the Crisis Line or one of our other programs. Click to learn more.
You can help by donating to one of our programs.
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SAFETY PLAN

Your safety is the most important thing. Listed below are tips to help keep you safe. The resources in this book can help you to make a safety plan that works best for you. It is important to get help with your safety plan. Many of the resources listed in this book can help you. 

We may be able to provide you with a cell phone that is programmed to only call 911. These phones are for when you need to call the police and cannot get to any other phone. 


If you are in an abusive relationship, think about...

·         Having important phone numbers nearby for you and your children. Numbers to have are the police, hotlines, friends and the local 
      shelter. 

·         Friends or neighbors you could tell about the abuse. Ask them to call the police if they hear angry or violent noises. If you have 
      children, teach them how to dial 911. Make up a code word that you can use when you need help. 

·         How to get out of your home safely. Practice ways to get out. 

·         Safer places in your home where there are exits and no weapons. If you feel abuse is going to happen try to get your abuser to one
       of these safer places. 

·         Any weapons in the house. Think about ways that you could get them out of the house. 

·         Even if you do not plan to leave, think of where you could go. Think of how you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the 
       house - taking out the trash, walking the pet or going to the store. Put together a bag of things you use every day (see the checklist 
        below). Hide it where it is easy for you to get. 

·         Going over your safety plan often.

 
If you consider leaving your abuser, think about...

·         Four places you could go if you leave your home. 

·         People who might help you if you left. Think about people who will keep a bag for you. Think about people who might lend you 
       money. Make plans for your pets. 

·         Keeping change for phone calls or getting a cell phone. 

·         Opening a bank account or getting a credit card in your name. 

·         How you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the house - taking out the trash, walking the family pet, or going to the 
      store. Practice how you would leave. 

·         How you could take your children with you safely. There are times when taking your children with you may put all of your lives in 
      danger. You need to protect yourself to be able to protect your children. 

·         Putting together a bag of things you use every day. Hide it where it is easy for you to get.
 

Items to take, if possible:

·         Children (if it is safe)

·         Money

·         Keys to car, house, work

·         Extra clothes 

·         Medicine

·         Important papers for you and your children

·         Birth certificates

·         Social security cards

·         School and medical records

·         Bankbooks, credit cards

·         Driver's license

·         Car registration

·         Welfare identification

·         Passports, green cards, work permits

·         Lease/rental agreement

·         Mortgage payment book, unpaid bills

·         Insurance papers

·         PPO, divorce papers, custody orders

·         Address book

·         Pictures, jewelry, things that mean a lot to you

·         Items for your children (toys, blankets, etc.)

Think about reviewing your safety plan often.  

 
If you have left your abuser, think about...
 
Your safety - you still need to. 

1.    Getting a cell phone. We may be able to provide you with a cell phone that is programmed to only call 911. These phones are for 
      when you need to call the police and cannot get to any other phone. 

2.    Getting a PPO from the court. Keep a copy with you all the time. Give a copy to the police, people who take care of your children, 
      their schools and your boss. 

3.    Changing the locks. Consider putting in stronger doors, smoke and carbon monoxide detectors, a security system and outside 
      lights. 

4.    Telling friends and neighbors that your abuser no longer lives with you. Ask them to call the police if they see your abuser near your 
      home or children. 

5.    Telling people who take care of your children the names of people who are allowed to pick them up. If you have a PPO protecting 
      your children, give their teachers and babysitters a copy of it. 

6.    Telling someone at work about what has happened. Ask that person to screen your calls. If you have a PPO that includes where you
      work, consider giving your boss a copy of it and a picture of the abuser. Think about and practice a safety plan for your workplace. 
      This should include going to and from work. 

7.    Not using the same stores or businesses that you did when you were with your abuser. 

8.    Someone that you can call if you feel down. Call that person if you are thinking about going to a support group or workshop. 

9.    Safe way to speak with your abuser if you must. 

10.  Going over your safety plan often.


WARNING: Abusers try to control their victim's lives. When abusers feel a loss of control - like when victims try to leave them - the abuse often gets worse. 
Take special care when you leave. Keep being careful even after you have left.

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1306 Riverside Drive
Susanville, CA 96130
Monday-Friday 8am-5pm

info@lassenfamilyservices.org
Business Phone: 530-257-4599
24 Hour Crisis Line:
530-257-5004 or (888)289-5004

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